When Agnes goes AWOL

Okay, we've spoken about how we stuff our faces for various reasons, but what about the other times, when you just don't want anything?




Ealier this morning I had the usual sick-hungry feeling I get pretty often, but when I got up to go eat, I just didn't want it. Lack of appetite is about as common as when your stomach feels like a bottomless pit. I mean, we can't overdo it all the time, now can we? Sometimes we tumble over to the other side of the inner fattie spectrum that I like to call chubby ruts. They suck, but they happen. Kinda makes you appreciate the comfy cravings when you get them.

Happy Holidays, Agnes!

Thanksgiving, then Christmas. One would swear it's inner fattie Hanukkah. After the facial stuff-fest, or thanksgiving, you then have to navigate your way through the carnage that is the leftovers. After all that jazz goes down, you then get completely gobsmacked with christmas, the hurricane of cookies, eggnog, cocoa, and all kinds of overwhelming amounts of sugar.

Now, it's quite possible that your inner fatties are bouncing with joy, absolutely giddy with the possibility of indulging in all those gooey treats you normally wouldn't get to enjoy through the rest of the year.

Yep, the holidays, everyone. Every inner fattie's heaven, every dieter's hell.

Cheer up, Agnes

Eating when you're sad. Many do it, few admit it. Notice how in all too many a romantic comedy, the female protagonist turns to her friends and a pint of Ben & Jerry's post breakup? Yeah. Tons of women do it but I know of a lot of men who do it too, so don't go saying it's strictly a female thing.

I'll admit that I am guilty of this. I'm already handling the aftermath of leaving my abusive ex-partner, then recently the BS I have to face at work is coming to a head, and just the other day, my mother and her boyfriend of 1 year had broken up. I was also very saddened by this, since I really approved of the guy.

Now, I'm only equipped to handle 1 emotional clusterfuck at a time, and all these are swooping up and hitting me upside the face at once, getting to a point where I just shut down into one giant crying jag with a case of the muchies. And it having been post-turkey day, yeah. Bad day to eat your feelings.

Scaling the Difference Between Eyes and Stomach

A lot of the time, you find yourself suddenly hungry after you see something that looks REALLY good on TV or where ever. Unfortunately, you find yourself uncomfortably full before you can make even a dent in what you were craving.

I believe there's a phrase that accompanies just such an inconvenience. "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.". As much as some would hate to admit it, truer words were never spoken. Stuffing yourself past your body's limit is NEVER a smart thing to do, I'm serious. You could really hurt yourself or make yourself really sick, a mistake I've made on a few occasions. Trust me, it sucks.

Making your inner fattie happy is one thing, but letting them take over and stuff your face on sheer impluse is another thing entirely! Seriously, listen to your body and know when to stop.

When Agnes gets Anxious

Stress-eating. Most of us are guilty of it occasionally, whether its possitive, like something sweet to calm your nerves before a hot date, or something negative, like eating whatever you can get your hands on in the aftermath of a nasty breakup. I'm not proud of it, But I am guilty of this practice.

Earlier today my ex-partner called me, just all out harassing me after I told her never to contact me again. Needless to say I was really upset, and Agnes was freaking out. My advice to the world: don't let yourself get really upset around dinner time. If that happens, then no left-over is safe.

Unfortunately this is the exact rule I overlooked this evening. The mac&cheese never had a chance. Agnes has since calmed down but remains shaken, and the slight indigestion certainly isn't helping.

introductions

You know that feeling in your gut when you indulge in that piece of cake you've been craving or the macaroni and cheese you had a sudden hankerin' for?

I like to call that your 'inner fattie', that perverbial fat kid that lives inside of all of us. This is also the feeling of complete euphoria post indulgence when you regret absolutely nothing. Now I have come to terms with my inner fattie a long time ago, even going as far as giving her a name, Agnes. I'm not the only one to do so, my older sister, her boyfriend, and even my mother have named their inner fatties.

Case in point, This isn't a blog that glorifies compulsive overeating, ill moderation, using food to solve your problems, or eating your feelings. Trust me, all these practices are unhealthy and best avoided. This blog is about understanding, accepting, and even celebrating that inner chubby child.